Turner Classic Movies stole my idea!

Or, um, I inadvertantly stole theirs. I caught the end of Now, Voyager over the weekend (which I also just bought on DVD) and afterwards they had a brief biography of Guy Kibbee. I only caught the tail end of that as I was still flipping channels. I think it's a series TCM does, and I'm assuming it's called "What A Character" since that was the tag line they ended the piece with.

Anyhow, I have somehow tragically overlooked Guy when doing my little "Character Actors I Love" profiles (and TCM's name is much better, damn it) so he's up next, I have decided. I've really liked him since I first saw him in Laughing Sinners. Which is odd when you think about it, because he plays a somewhat sleazy traveling salesman in that film. I've seen him in other, much more sympathetic roles. But we'll talk more about that next time...

Movies are the best medicine

Nothing like being sick and missing almost a whole week of work to allow one to get caught up on their classic movie viewing. Thank God for Netflix, because I didn't have the energy to go out and rent movies.

Anyhow, my most recent movie was Lady for a Day, and oh, I loved this movie! First off, it was full of character-actory goodness: May Robson, Guy Kibbee, Ned Sparks, Walter Connolly, and Nat Pendleton. Bonanza!

The scene when Apple Annie is about to confess her true identity to Count Romero, and then the party guests finally arrive, including the mayor and governor...I cried at the look on her face. And I don't usually cry at movies. But I'm a little choked up just talking about it now. May was just wonderful. So touching when she sees her daughter again for the first time.

I was so rooting for Annie and the Judge to fall in love and get married...they were so cute together. The look on the Judge's face when he sees her as "Mrs. E. Worthington Manville" for the first time was just adorable. From what I could tell, Guy did his own trick pool shots. At least, I'm fairly sure he did. Very impressive. The one thing I would have changed was the casting of Walter Connolly as a Spanish count. Just...no. His nasal squeak of a voice and a "Spanish accent" are two things that should be kept as far apart as possible. He did not work at all in that part. He's better playing father to society girls or frustrated bosses, as we've discussed before.

Plus you have to love a movie with a character named "Dave the Dude." Heh.

Next up was The Damned Don't Cry!, one of the new Joan Crawford DVD releases. Joan's Warner Brothers films are on the edge of an era I don't like in her work. I much prefer her as a 30's shopgirl to the 40's hardened dames with rapidly thickening eyebrows. I'll go as far as Mildred Pierce, which I love, but that's about it. And the 60's scream films...no, we'll not speak of those.

Damned was all right. Joan's character makes an interesting transition from poor but hard-working mother to tough dress model/gangster's moll. Maybe a bit too quick of a transition. The men in film were no one I had ever really heard of before; definitely not the A-listers than Joan had been partnered with in the past. Kent Smith was good, but the rest didn't do much for me. I suppose Warners was trying to boost their careers by putting them in a Joan movie, but it doesn't seem to have done much, in my (albeit limited) opinion.

Next was a double feature of sorts: The Aviator and Hell's Angels. As you know, I'm not much for modern movies, but I thought Leonardo DiCaprio was good as Howard Hughes (he got that creepy, beetling brow stare down, all right) and Cate Blanchett was unbelievably great as Kate Hepburn. I'd give her another Oscar if I could. The special effects were quite nifty, and hey, look! Hawkeye plays a sleazy senator. Aviator qualifies as a classic movie in a "by association" way. It's about classic movie stars and making classic movies, so I'll allow it in. ;)

After seeing that, of course I was curious about the original Hell's Angels, so I gave that a look. Good drama, amazing flight scenes, and Jean Harlow in color was a treat. With natural eyebrows, too! That's not a look you saw often. I thought James Hall looked familiar, and I was right; he also played Jack Maitland in Millie. The character of Monte constantly got on my nerves, and I wanted to smack him, Roy's goodness kind of balanced him out.

We wound up with a encore presentation of an old favorite, Objective, Burma! I would follow Errol Flynn into the jungle in a heartbeat. Yum. Such a great WWII film. After seeing brave and handsomely sweaty Errol lead his troops through the steamy jungles of Burma, I was well enough to go back to work, and so I did.

Up for this weekend: the 1932 Little Women, Teacher's Pet (yay, Gable!), and Olive Thomas: The Flapper and Everybody's Sweetheart.

Old favorites

A favorite movie is like a warm bath. I have different movies for different moods. The ones I’ve seen a frillion times I’ll sometimes put on just for company/background noise while I’m cooking or doing other things around the house, kind of like listening to baseball on the radio, which I also do. Of course, I often sit down just to watch them, too; a good movie can be background noise, but it is of course much more than just that. It’s an entertaining old pal.

Yesterday I was feeling under the weather, so when I finally dragged myself from bed I popped in "The Women," a tried and true favorite. I rented it one day a few years back out of curiosity, after seeing the DVD case on the shelf at TLA, and after I saw it could not believe I had been without this delicious film in my head up to that point.

It’s so delightfully witty; I think the humor holds up even by today’s standards. If the rumors are correct and they are going to remake the movie (which is a bad idea, but you know how the studios are), they could use all the same dialogue, and it would still be funny. Of course they’ll sex it up a lot, but hopefully they’ll keep the gold standard of not having any men in the movie. No, really. None whatsoever. Even the dogs were all female. That was Cukor’s idea, I heard. The movie’s tag line may be "It’s all about men!" but you won’t see one here. Not everyone notices this, and I love to point it out afterwards. "There must be at least one man," people say, "A butler, something." Nope, nary a man in sight throughout.

I’ve read the play, and it’s equally good. The character of Mary Haines is a little less sunshiny-sweet than she is in the movie, which makes it more balanced. It’s a fast and amusing read. I still think Crystal Allen has the best exit line ever: "There’s a name for you ladies, but it isn’t used in high society...outside of a kennel." I want that on a bumper sticker.

Later in the day I watched "Chained," which I think may be the first Joan Crawford/Clark Gable movie I ever saw. My local TLA had a decent collection of them, and they comprised most of my early classic movie viewing. I wish they didn’t tease out Joan’s hair quite so much, but she is just adorable as she walks the ship’s deck with Clark, or swims in the pool with a wee Mickey Rooney (in an unbilled cameo role). Watching her devour roast chicken and milk for lunch with Clark and Stu Erwin always makes me hungry for a good, home-cooked meal.

Food in old movies seems so much more wholesome than today, doesn’t it? No strategically placed cans of Pepsi or bags of Doritos. No, it’s big homey meals (with no preservatives!), or the blue plate special in a diner (and even that seems appetizing) or maybe hors d’oeuvres at a swanky cocktail party. Whatever the occasion, the eating is usually good. And most movie stars ate in what I call the "European" style, which means they use both knife and fork, keep the fork in the left hand, and keep the tines pointed downwards. It looks so elegant. I’ve tried it, but I usually end up dropping food all over my lap. I do eat with my left hand, though.

[I just found this post in the drafts folder. It was originally dated 6/29 but I'm posting it with today's date so it floats to the top.]

Either I'm psychic...

...or someone up there is listening to me, because I just found out a Bela Lugosi DVD collection is being released this September. And it contains all of the movies I picked in my previous entry.

Spooky...

Pre-Code-Dependence Day

It was a pre-code extravaganza this 4th of July, as my dad (who was over for a picnic) got interested in my Pre Code Hollywood: The Risqué Years DVD set, and we watched Kept Husbands and Millie back to back. I hadn’t seen them since I rented them from Netflix a few months back (which made me decide to buy them), and I’d forgotten how much I liked them, especially Millie.

After each movie, my dad would ask me, "Okay, what was wrong with that one?" Meaning, why would it not have passed the Hays Office Production Code, which began in 1934. Well, the whole idea of a "kept husband," for one. The broad hints at (and sometimes outright portrayals of) adultery. The fact that Mille dates Tommy Rock, the reporter, for four years, implying they’ve slept together (and may have lived together) without being married. In fact, Millie’s whole fall from grace, from her divorce from Jack Maitland to her murder trial at the end of the film, was too racy for a post-code Hollywood. Today, of course, it seems sweetly tame, which is why he had to ask, I suppose.

I have three Joan Crawford movies that are also pre-code: Laughing Sinners, in which she plays a night club singer who has a two year affair with a traveling salesman, before he leaves her to marry a "respectable" woman; Possessed, in which she plays Clark Gable’s mistress (he’s been hurt in the past and doesn’t want to marry; she doesn’t mind), and Rain, in which she played the prostitute Sadie Thompson. I know Joan made more movies before the code set in, but I haven’t seen any of them.

[I take that back; I have seen Grand Hotel (in which it’s implied Flaemmchen is a loose girl), and Dance, Fools, Dance, where she "tries love out on approval" and goes swimming in her lingerie. ]

Truth be told, I find these movies more interesting than some of her post-code movies I own, which include Love on the Run, Forsaking All Others, and The Women. In The Women she’s a mistress, but she clearly gets her comeuppance at the end. In Possessed, the mistress gets her man, when he gives up his chance at a political career to be with her, scandal be damned. Love on the Run is a fluffy confection containing a runaway bride and a reporter who in the end can’t bring himself to go on lying and taking advantage of her (no, not that way, but by using her story to sell papers). Laughing Sinners, by contrast, has Ivy repent at the end by sticking with the Salvation Army, but in between she works in a nightclub, has an affair with Howard Palmer, and later spends the night with him when, now as a Salvation Army girl, she sees him again for the first time after being dumped by him.

None of it is completely true to life, of course, being Hollywood, but the pre-code movies are a lot closer. Which is what makes them interesting, and also what started the Catholic League of Decency on the code in the first place.

But I started out talking about Kept Husbands and Millie. Thought I’d forgotten, didn’t you? I like Millie better, because the "one woman’s story" angle is more appealing to me than watching Joel McCrea slowly struggle (then fail, but later succeed) to not become a "kept husband." He’s kind of a weenie at first, letting Dot order him around and taking a cushy job (which mostly entails learning how to play bridge) at his father-in-law’s construction firm. It obviously bothers him, but not enough to do anything about it until near the end of the film. He takes the St. Louis job, Dot comes to her senses and promises from then on to live on his salary and keep him with love, not her family’s money. On a side note, the actress who plays his mother, Mary Carr, was just adorable. (I like her even more since I just discovered she was born in Philadelphia and lived to be 99, bless her heart.)

Mille, as I said, was my favorite of the two. Her downfall comes in subtle and realistic steps, occurring gradually over the course of the movie. If you looked only at the beginning and then the end, you’d wonder how she could have fallen so far. The rest of the movie shows you. She marries young and has a child; a few years later, she discovers her husband is cheating on her and divorces him, leaving baby Connie with her father so the child can have the wealthy life he can provide.

Millie’s not down and out yet, though. She gets a job selling cigarettes in a hotel concession stand and seems content with her simpler life. She starts dating Tommy Rock, local boy reporter, but tells him marriage isn’t for her. After four years together (during which Millie starts her own concession business) she finds out he’s cheating on her. Now the slide down picks up speed, as Millie’s drinking increases; a title card tells us eight years go by, and "Millie’s still the red-headed girl...but no one cares anymore." I’ve spoiled most of the plot points, I see, so I’ll just sum up the ending by saying there’s a murder trial, and Millie’s long estranged daughter makes an appearance.

It’s a sad story, all the more touching because it’s believable. At least, I feel it is, for the times in which it was made. Not having lived in those times, obviously, I can’t completely vouch for its authenticity, and of course I’m viewing the movies through the "lens" of my time and experiences. Still, I think people then, and probably even now, can relate to Millie’s story, and understand her pain, and the choices she makes. It’s a genuine human story...why did there need to be a code against things like that?

"Mister, your climate's bum."

Read the W. Somerset Maugham story "Rain" upon which the Joan Crawford movie of the same name is based. It's a fabulous read.

We're having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave

Pretty darn close; it's been over 90 almost every day for the past week and a half. But it was purely by coincidence that my latest movie, Only Angels Have Wings, was set in the steamy jungles of Panama, where if it's not cinematically pouring rain, it will be any second. Luckily, I was able to cuddle up with my air conditioner and enjoy the film.

I had never seen Jean Arthur in anything before, and I liked her well enough, although after awhile her voice kind of got to me. Not to be mean or anything, because she was a fine actress, but it sounded sort of squeaky to me. I could believe her as a chorus girl, though, so it worked in its own way. I'd rented the movie promarily because of Cary Grant and Rita Hayworth (who had a smaller role and lower hairline than I'd anticipated); as an added bonus there was also Thomas Mitchell, perhaps best known as the beloved Gerald O'Hara. Movies with pilots always have the best character (nick)names: Kid Dabb, Bat McPherson, Dutchy, Sparks, Tex, and Gent. Heh.

I don't think I'd buy it or rent it again, but I was well worth the Netflix rental.

After that, I was in the mood for another movie in a rainy, tropical setting, so I popped in my copy of Rain. While it may sound like a big cliche to say so, every time I see this movie I am astounded all over again. It is so beautifully and, in places, cleverly shot, it's amazing for its time, I think. Right from the beginning, where the rain starts to fall on different areas of the beach, I'm hooked.

The scene where the drunken quartermaster is trying to find the door, and instead keeps circling the table saying, "Goodbye, Mr. Davidson," as the camera pans around the table right along with him, is just wonderful. I imagine that must have been quite a difficult shot back in 1932. The scene of Davidson saving Sadie's soul as he stands on the steps and she kneels at the bottom, is amazing, too. Some of the long pans up and out of the rooms bring so much to the story and the mood of a particular moment. And the shots of Joan as Sadie, after she's been saved and is waiting to go back to San Francisco...I don't think she's ever looked more beautiful on film. Just breathtaking. Davidson's last scene, as he's standing on the porch listening to the native drums and trying to overcome temptation...when he opens his eyes after that brief prayer, and you can tell by the look on his face he's going into Sadie's room...I involuntarily back away a little, every time, even though I know by now it's coming. Well done, Walter Huston.

It would be interesting to see this movie remade today, but it would also be a shame, because you know that scene when Davidson goes to Sadie wouldn't end with him going around the corner, her door creaking, and a fade to black. No, today we'd probably have to have screams and heaving bosoms and furniture overturned. I think the way it's filmed is much more shocking, because it leaves it up to the viewer's imagination. When Sadie comes out the next day and she's back in her old clothes and makeup, you don't have to have seen what happened, what Davidson did to her. You just know.

Return of the Box Set

I had so much fun last time creating my own box sets, I decided to have another go. As an aside, imagine how much money the studios could make if they made their movies -- all their movies, including the old ones, whether released on VHS but not DVD, or not ever released commercially at all -- available for download to burn to DVD, a la Napster. I would be downloading black and white movies until the cows came home. Ted Turner, call me! I’ll let you have the idea for a modest fee. ;)

So, next up is...

Flynn and Hale: The Buddy Movie Collection

1. Adventures of Don Juan
2. Dodge City
3. Adventures of Robin Hood
4. Desperate Journey
5. Footsteps in the Dark
6. Gentleman Jim
7. Prince and the Pauper
8. Private Lives of Elizabeth and Essex
9. Santa Fe Trail
10. Sea Hawk
11. The Sisters
12. Virginia City

I would have sworn Alan was also in Captain Blood. My bad. Anyhow, some of these movies I’ve never seen, and some I’ve seen where Alan has the bittiest of bit parts (Prince & Pauper, for example) but any pairing of Alan and Errol (yeah, we’re all on a first name basis) is full of buddy goodness. These guys started the genre. Well, as far as I’m concerned. Okay, I guess technically Laurel & Hardy came earlier, and others before that, but I’m talking action buddy, not comedy buddy. Although Alan can be very droll.

Bela Lugosi: Only the Good Movies (or ones I’ve heard are good)

1. Dracula
2. Murders in the Rue Morgue
3. White Zombie
4. The Black Cat (1934)
5. The Raven
6. Black Friday
7. Son of Frankenstein
8. Ghost of Frankenstein

Poor Bela. So underrated, so typecast. So delicious with the haunting eyes and exotic accent. I’m tentative on Rue Morgue because I’ve heard good and bad about it. So we could trim that one and leave it at seven. Ed Wood would make kind of a nifty addition, though, now that it’s finally released on DVD. For real. Not to be withdrawn later. Sheesh.

You could do a Lugosi and Karloff "good movies" set, which would have maybe four of five movies (IMHO). If that sounds slim, keep in mind that James Dean’s collection is only three. The...only three movies he ever made (or at least the only ones he made in which he wasn’t an uncredited extra). Now that’s fame.

Make your own box set!

I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner. Well, actually, Borders thought of it already; I think it was last summer. Buy 3 DVDs, get the 4th one free, and you got a handy little sleeve that you could color yourself. I checked it out, but none of the movies appealed to me. Mostly action, sci-fi, that kind of stuff. I’m going to pretend I have the power to release movies on DVD, and create a few box sets that need to be created, posthaste. Major studios and Ted Turner, are you listening? Here we go...

Joan Crawford: The Best of the 1930s

1. Dance, Fools, Dance
2. Laughing Sinners
3. Possessed (1931, obviously)
4. Rain
5. Dancing Lady
6. Sadie McKee
7. Chained
8. Forsaking All Others
9. Love on the Run

Okay, this would obviously be a rather hefty box set**, but I would totally buy it. The new Garbo one coming out this fall has seven sound movies (eight if you count both the German and English versions of Anna Christie) plus three silents and a documentary on ten discs for $69.94 (Amazon price). So how about nine Crawford movies for, say, $49.95? There are more good movies of hers from the 1930s, I just picked my favorites. You could also toss in Letty Lynton, I Live My Life, Gorgeous Hussy, The Last of Mrs. Cheyney, or The Bride Wore Red.

**Pausing to look over some of the other "signature collection" box sets, I see that 9 movies in a set wouldn’t be outrageous at all. Here’s how many movies are in various other box sets:
Cary Grant – 5
Judy Garland – 7
Hitchcock – 9
Errol Flynn – 5, plus a documentary
John Wayne – 4
Hepburn & Tracy – 3, plus a documentary
Elizabeth Taylor – 4

So the bigger, the better is now my motto!

Moving on, let’s take a look at Jean Harlow, who should have had a box set long ago.

Jean Harlow: The Signature Collection

1. Hell’s Angels
2. The Public Enemy
3. Platinum Blonde
4. Red-Headed Woman
5. Red Dust
6. Hold Your Man
7. Dinner at Eight
8. Bombshell
9. China Seas
10. Wife vs. Secretary
11. Libeled Lady
12. Saratoga

I think that would about do it. Most people would probably take out Hold Your Man as it’s not one of her better known films, but I included it because I adore it. Also Saratoga could go, because it is kind of morbid to play "spot the body double." So that would make it an even ten. There’s room to fiddle – I could easily take out China Seas and put in The Girl from Missouri. I find myself inexplicably fascinated with Reckless, but that was pretty much a bomb, so we’ll skip it.

How about...

Judy and Mickey: The Collection

1. Babes in Arms
2. Babes on Broadway
3. Strike Up the Band
4. Love Finds Andy Hardy
5. Life Begins for Andy Hardy
6. Andy Hardy Meets Debutante
7. Girl Crazy

Or you could just whip up an Andy Hardy box set, although the last one, Andy Hardy Comes Home, has always seemed like a depressing idea to me.

Oh! How could I have almost neglected to mention...

Clark Gable: The Signature Collection

1. Red Dust
2. It Happened One Night
3. Manhattan Melodrama
4. Mutiny on the Bounty
5. Test Pilot
6. Idiot’s Delight
7. Mogambo
8. Run Silent, Run Deep
9. The Misfits

I know I’m missing a lot here, because there are quite a few of his films I haven’t seen. I know there’s one or several documentaries out there, so toss your favorite in. Another idea would be a Clark Gable and Joan Crawford collection.

Norma Shearer: The Signature Collection

1. The Divorcee
2. A Free Soul
3. Private Lives
4. Strange Interlude
5. Riptide
6. The Barretts of Wimpole Street
7. Romeo and Juliet
8. Marie Antoinette
9. Idiot’s Delight

I skipped The Women because it’s been released by itself as well as part of Joan’s new box set. Marie Antoinette should be released on DVD right now, just by itself, because it is a wonderful film, and Norma is fabulous in it.

Other random films that I’d love to see on DVD, not necessarily as part of a box set:

Jane Eyre
No Man of Her Own
I Love You Again
To Each His Own
Love Crazy
The Raven
The Black Cat (1934)

Okay, whoever owns the distributions rights to these movies, you’ve got your work cut out for you. Get cracking!

I hate bootlegs

I knew bootlegs existed, of course. I didn’t see the appeal, personally. If I want to own a movie, I want to own it, with box art and inserts and a real case. I am a movie consumer in every sense of the word.

So last year when I saw a listing on eBay for a "rare!" Joan Crawford movie, you would think all my alarms and sirens would have gone off. But no, I was in the throes of discovering both eBay (it was my second auction) and a passion for collecting Joan Crawford memorabilia (save your wire hanger comments). My collection has since expanded to an entire shelf, but at the time I was just starting out, and I was dazzled by the listing. Crawford! Franchot Tone! Robert Montgomery! All in the same movie! And it’s rare!

So I bid. And won. Promptly paid, promptly got the movie. Promptly left feedback – my first mistake. The movie had looked kind of dodgy to me right out of the package. No cover art – a clear plastic box. Well, I’d seen that mentioned in the listing. Label on the tape itself that looked suspiciously homemade. Hmmm. Well, it’s not like it was written in crayon, so maybe I was just being suspicious for no reason. Still, I had what I’d paid for, so I left positive feedback: fast shipping, glad to have hard to find movie, blah blee blah.

In retrospect, I think my comment makes me look like an even bigger rube.

I pop the movie in the VCR, and we’re off. So far, so good. Until about 20 minutes into the movie, when Ted’s TCM logo appears in the bottom right corner of the screen, as it is wont to do. I literally can’t believe my eyes. I end up watching the same scene with Edna Oliver a zillion times because I just could not fathom that I was really seeing that logo.

Then I got mad. Logged back on to eBay, amended my feedback. Emailed the seller and requested a refund, post haste. Fumed for awhile. Watched the scene again. Checked IMDB – this movie has never been commercially released, duh. So "rare" applies in the "rare because it’s an illegal copy" sense. Finally went to bed.

The next morning, I have an email from the seller. He strives for satisfaction, and since I’m not satisfied, here’s my refund. I can keep the movie. (Damn right I’m keeping it! Now it’s evidence!) I also have a PayPal refund. Well, at least it didn’t turn into a bloodbath.

I’m still ticked, though, especially when I check the seller’s listings and see that he has over 200 movies for sale. A cursory check leads me to believe they’re all bootlegs. Fucker. Now I’m ready to bring the pain.

I report him to eBay. They suspend him. He comes back, lists more movies. I report him to eBay again. They suspend him. He comes back, lists more movies. I report him to eBay yet again. They suspend him. He comes back, lists more movies.

(Cutting and pasting was used in creating the above paragraph. Just repeat until you’re dizzy. I reported him 12 times before I stopped counting.)

I see the Joan Crawford movie listed again – by another seller with a suspiciously similar name. Sing it with me: I report him to eBay. They suspend him. He comes back, lists more movies.

I contact TCM. Thanks, they say, they’re always interested in protecting their intellectual property, la la la. I report him to the MPAA. No response. I report him to the FBI, with some embarrassment, because obviously more important things are going on in the world. They thank me, and advise me to contact the MPAA. Hey, what about those warnings at the beginning of movies about ginormous fines and jail time and all that? No public flogging? No arrest in front of a gaggle of TV cameras? Oh, well.

As of this writing, the seller is, of course, still on eBay. However, I haven’t seen him list any movies in a long time. At least not under any IDs that I am aware of. I know he has at least three. I occasionally check for that Crawford title, and nothing comes up. So I suppose some kind of justice did eventually prevail. Just not the publicly humiliating kind I was hoping for. And I learned a lesson, at no cost to myself, which I can now pass along to you.

In case you’re curious, the seller’s ID was besttrader2004. Look at all that positive feedback. Either people are stupid or don’t care that they’re getting illegal copies, that this guy is profiting off of them with blank tapes and his cable hook-up. His other ID was beststuff4, which has since been suspended – yay! I can’t remember the third one, it had the word gift in it. I don’t check every day anymore – I eventually gave that up for the sake of my sanity – but if you ever see him or anyone else selling bootleg movies on eBay, report their asses, won’t you?

Another offender (I somehow find all the Crawford ones) is billiecassin (get it?) who sells "rare" DVDs of Joan Crawford’s television appearances and commercials. I’ve reported her a boatload of times, but the listings keep on coming. Gah, just looking at them again makes me grit my teeth. If I were a vengeful person, or someone who disrespects the law as much as these people do, I would get another eBay ID and start some ridiculous high bidding just to fuck up her auctions. Or win and not pay. But I’m not, so I never would. Plus I’m too much of a weenie.